{Be Real} Dreaming with an Open Heart by Jessica June

Spiritual Growth

When I was a little girl, all I wanted to be was Ariel from the little Mermaid. I loved the idea of  living in the ocean, having talking animal friends, and a prince charming to fall in love with me. But no matter how many nights I prayed, and begged GOD to “please, please, please, make me a mermaid” He never did. As I grew up, so did my dreams. Whether it was praying to fall in love,  for a new home, a good job, for a healthy family, for a wedding to photograph, acceptance to George Fox… my dreams began to grow up. My worries weren’t about if I could be a princess any longer, or if I could have an extra cookie and maybe stay up a little later. My worries became overwhelming, and suffocating.

Was I pretty enough? Was I talented enough? Was I worth my investment? Would life ever get easier?

I didn’t always take the time to listen to that still small voice that was saying, “Be still. Know that I am GOD. Trust Me.”*
I’m not saying I never did trust GOD, because I did. When my world was slipping right out of my fingers, I clung to his promises. I held fast to his verses, like the one  in Jeremiah.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” ~Jeremiah 29:11

But what I stopped doing was dreaming with an open heart. I just spewed out a hundred different ideas, and wishes. I took the gifts He chose to bless me with, and ignored them. I wasn’t taking the investment He made in me, and turning it around to invest in Him, His promises, His truth, and His Kingdom.
It isn’t easy, but it is so beyond worth it. To have the complete and utter freedom to bless people with what He, my GOD, has blessed me with.
It makes my very soul smile. To stop wishing for what I could do, and pursuing avenues that are firmly closed…it is a released burden.

Like when I was a little girl, I needed to stop wishing I could be someone I wasn’t, something I wasn’t; and I became the me that God designed. The one He knit together, and the one He knew before I was even an idea.

Dreaming with a closed up heart is so very painful, and heartbreaking; but dreaming with an open heart? That is a game changer. Listening for where He will lead me, verses just telling Him where I want to go? The journey hasn’t gotten easier, but it has been filled with so much more joy and peace.

*Psalm 46:10 NIV


July 31, 2013

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